Self Sabotage

Search deep into my eyes and you’ll find tremors

Subtly shaking the solid structure I portray

and if you look close enough you might spot my infractions

a twisting difference – starry night to sunny day

You could ask but guaranteed I will not tell you

because if I release the rage is liable to blow

Ripping through the existing cracks of my infrastructure

The impending collapse awaiting

I am ashamed to let it show

This decay is like the haunting fable of Sleepy Hollow

A sickening destiny settling before my knowledgeable birth

For fate has ruefully launched me into my transgressions

Replacing hatred that chokes out my innocent mirth

A torturous cycle I cannot seem to master

So I indulge in sins that are not meant to be tried

Falling into the diseasing obsession of addiction

For my soul has withered from all the tears my eyes have cried


Falling from Grace

Oh pretty daughter

with your big hazel eyes

How I’m trying to escape my

own demise.

Oh little daughter

hair so curly and fair

How I regret taking you here;

To mommy’s dark places where demons


though inside, my love, for

you is profound

But tragically so my secrets arise

And numb out the sounds of your

sweet pleading cries.

You never asked to be made alive through

your birth;

I’m supposed to give you a life

Full of worth.

Instead you witness as I fill up

my rig,

Little eyes full of wisdom,

though you have yet to be big.

And as I release the poison

into my vein

I slip into oblivion,

regretting casting your pain.

children, kids, love

Winter Baby

The sky is vividly blue, a warm blanket covering my view; enveloping me in happiness in the frosty, frigid air.

I think of you though a winter baby, your smile effervescent, your hugs rich, generous. Always.

You are the reason I pull myself from slumber, for otherwise, I would fall into sleep forever.

Boundless darkness, each worse than the next.

Little girl, you have saved me.

Through your birth you have given me life.

So I can sit here, outside, on the most frigid of days, wrapped in endless embers of love.